Choreographed Partner Dances Common Problems

(excerpt from the book Partnership Dancing™)

In Contra, Folk, Israeli, Round, Salsa Rueda, Square and many other types of dancing, the partner dances are choreographed, with all the couples doing the same patterns together.

The man learns his part, the woman learns her part and the couple wrestles with one another to see who is right. That is a joke, but unfortunately not far from the case and causes many problems.

Certainly not everyone who dances choreographed dances exhibit the faults I am about to enumerate. However, I have even seen many who are wonderful dancers in other social dance settings, commit grievances in choreographed settings they would never do elsewhere.

A Test of Wills

Since there are no rules on how the couple is to interact, the dance turns into a test of wills. Couples wrestle with one another for control over whose way to do each part of the dance.

The goal of having two partners dance as one is lost, replaced by the objective of getting the steps right.

Booking Ahead and Regular Partners

The problems are so severe that dancers are often only comfortable with their regular partners, who they arrange to dance with ahead of time.

Individuals Sitting Out

Individuals without regular partners, have trouble getting dances.

In a more sociable dance setting, dancers change partners every dance, so everyone gets to dance about the same amount.

With booking ahead, those without regular partners end up sitting out much more, to the point that they can be entirely excluded.

Couples Sitting Down When They Do Not Know the Dance

The problem is so bad, that even couples that have been dancing together for years, will sit down when they do not know a dance.

When regular partners have to sit down, that is indication of how much of a struggle dancing together is.

The Woman Causes the Struggle

The woman causes the problem when she does not follow.

At best, the woman does her own dancing, ignoring her partner, so you are dancing in close proximity, but not dancing as one.

At worst, the woman creates conflict, physically wrestling with her partner in an attempt to impose her will.

Manhandling

The man contributes to the unpleasantness by not communicating well.

At best, poor communication may not allow the woman to follow effectively.

At worst, the man can be dangerous, manhandling the woman, throwing her off balance and forcing her through movements.

Confusing Your Partner

Both dancers can confuse their partner in misguided attempts to help, such as reaching for their partner, nudging their partner or telling their partner what steps to do.

Partnership Dancing™ Is the Solution

Partnership Dancing™ offers a solution.

All the choreography I have seen in hundreds of social dances can be done following the Three Laws of Partnership Dancing™.

I was at Machol Miami, a popular Israeli Dance camp in Ft. Lauderdale and asked Veronica, one of the women from my group, to dance.

Veronica had only been dancing a couple of years, but I had schooled her, kicking and screaming, in Partnership Dancing™. She had protested my insistance on following, asking "What I am supposed to do if you lead the wrong steps? Follow you or do the steps of the dance?" (Follow me, certainly)

They played eight partner dances in this set, none of which she had ever heard before.

At this camp I had been dancing with different women every set. I danced with many women, some that teach their own groups, and some others that are considered among the better dancers, ones I am friends with and have enjoyed dancing with for years.

Nevertheless, Veronica did those eight partner dances, the very first time, without instruction, better than any of the other women did any of the dances they knew. It was not even close, because for Veronica to take any step, she had to wait and take each step in coordination with me.

It has to be that way. There is no contest between dancing with a woman who is following the man's every movement and dancing with a woman who is walking through a memorized pattern.

A woman who is walking through a memorized pattern can never match her movements precisely to the man's.

While the woman who is following follows by matching her movements precisely to the man's.

Choreography Is for the Man

In our group, we only teach the choreography to the man. The woman is to follow.

If a woman wants to know the choreography, we show her if she asks. Rarely do they ask.

When we teach dances, we emphasize communication and Partnership Dancing™ skills.

Since we have this cooperation going on, new man dancers can do the dances without feeling pressure, at least not too much.

The women can do every partner dance without instruction. Every woman, even beginners, can do every partner dance. As they aquire more skill, they can do the dances better. The beauty is, as their skill at following improves, they can do every dance better.

The Man Is Always Right

It helps the woman to think the man is always right, even when he is doing steps different from the choreography.

I was dancing with a woman who was an excellent follower. She also was a friend and fun to dance with. Even though she knew the dances, she waited for me and matched her movements to mine so we were dancing as one. You could not ask for a better dancer as a partner.

There were spots in each dance, that she sensed I was going to do the wrong thing. With the tiniest of signals, at exactly the right time, she conveyed to me the correct movement.

The way she signaled me could not have been better. If a woman is to help a man in a choreographed dance, this would be the way to do so.

Since that day, I have been wondering, should a woman do that?

Her signals did not come when I was confused and letting her go first. Her signals came while I was dancing the way I thought the dance was to go.

As far as Partnership Dancing™ goes the answer is no. The woman never signals the man except to avoid injury.

Changing Partners

In our group, we like to change partners.

We have a rotation, so everyone gets to dance with everyone else and everyone gets to dance the same amount.

No Gender Bias

Our group is not gender biased. Anyone can dance either role.

Most stick to their gender's typical role, but if we have a gender imbalance, some will dance the other part.

Frequently we have two dancers of the same gender dancing together. As you learn under the chapter on Emotional Connection, if you leave the sex out of your dancing, not only is this is no problem, it is fun.

Sometimes we switch genders for fun, with the woman dancing the man's part and the man dancing the woman's part.

Do the Dance More than Once

If we do have dancers that sit out a dance because they do not have a partner, we will repeat the dance so everyone gets to do it.

What to Do When the Woman Knows the Dance and the Man Does Not

The man has the option of not signaling his partner.

If the man is not signaling, the woman can go first, if she wants. If she knows the dance, she can do it and he can follow her.

This is useful if the woman knows the dance, or parts of it, when the man does not. The man can stop going first whenever he wants. The woman will feel she is free to continue dancing until the man starts signaling again.

Whenever the man starts to signal again, at any point in the dance, the woman returns to following.

What to Do When Neither the Man Nor the Woman Know the Dance

As long as someone in the room knows the dance, other couples can follow.

The procedure is for the man to follow the couple that knows the dance and his partner to follow him.

The man does what is easy. He skips steps to allow him and his partner to keep up. He tries to keep some resemblance of him and his partner dancing together and avoid being wildly out of control.

All the laws still apply. The man is careful to only signal the woman and not force her through any movements. The lighter the connection the better.

The woman focuses on her man more than ever. She completely avoids looking at what another couple is doing, because there is no chance that her man is in synchronization with someone else's woman, especially when he does not know the dance. Her man is not paying any attention to her. She is the one responsible for making sure they do not crash into one another.

Points To Remember

1. Dance choreographed partner dances like you would any partner dance, follow the laws of Partnership Dancing™.
2. Be fair to everyone and make your group more sociable by changing partners, doing dances more than once and having no gender bias.
3. When the man does not know the dance and the woman does, let the woman go first, if you want.
4. When neither partner knows the dance, the man follows a couple that knows the dance and the woman follows her man.